Give Birth To At Least One Child...

My sister gave me a onesie for our daughter to wear that reads, "All Mommy Wants For Christmas Is A Silent Night".

Oh boy, isn't that the truth! In fact, I told Mr. M all he has to get me for Christmas is one night of uninterrupted sleep. I am awakened early each morning, usually around three or four, for a feeding of the little Goose. I'm tired....oh heavens yes I'm tired! But I wouldn't trade it for anything. I would get up with her every night from here to eternity if I had to. I love it.

You see, several years ago I didn't know if I would be able to have children at all. I suffer from a condition called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, or PCOS. The growing number of women with this condition suffer infertility a majority of the time. So when Mr. M and I decided to have children, we knew the road to get us there would not be easy.

And indeed it was not! With the knowledge of fertility challenges, we were able to skip the early stages and go straight to doctor meetings. We worked with a terrific doctor a couple of hours from our hometown. Months of light treatments passed, but no baby. I was slightly discouraged but tried to keep a positive outlook and keep trying. I had wanted to be a mother for as long as I could remember. In my perspective, the jobs that I'd held up to this point were merely passing the time and earning money so I could stay at home and be a mother.

We finally had the first cycle where I could go in for an IUI (intrauterine insemination). I was nervous the whole drive to the doctor's office, wondering if this cycle would be successful, and if in nine months we would be parents. The procedure was quick and painless, and before we knew it we were back on the road for home.

We had to wait two long weeks before we could find out if the procedure had worked. I tried and tried not to take pregnancy tests because I couldn't bear to see another "Not Pregnant" on the digital screen. But I broke down and finally took a home pregnancy test the day before the revealing blood test....and I was heartbroken at the results. I tried to stay encouraged though, because sometimes home pregnancy tests are wrong.

Not this time.

The doctor's office called with blood test results and told me that I was not pregnant. I was devestated and broke down in tears in Mr. M's office while telling him. He told me we would try again as I worked to compose myself and face the rest of our fellow employees. But it seemed the looming mountain of infertility on our path to a baby might never be conquered.

We did indeed try again. The procedure took place two days before Mr. M's 38th birthday on September 27th. It was a bit more complicated this time and I had to be given some sedating drugs. After the procedure was complete, we stopped by Burger King to pick up lunch for the ride home. I laid down to close my eyes and never opened them again until we were back home. So much for the burger and fries.

Two weeks crawled by....and it was once again time for the results. I again broke down and took a test, all the while preparing myself for another negative result. That was all I could produce anyway, so what would be different this time? Mr. M had spent the night in a tent in our backyard for fun but it was too cold for me so I stayed inside that night. I awoke in the early morning hours and crept into the bathroom to take the test. I averted my eyes from the screen as I waited for the results. And when it was time to look, my heart was pounding.

"Pregnant!" the test boasted.

My heart could not be contained. I picked up the test with shaking hands and sat down on the closed toilet, staring at the results with an almost hypnotic gaze. I dashed from the bathroom clutching the stick and hurried up the stairs. After slipping on my shoes, I rushed outside into the backyard and up to the tent.

I called out Mr. M's name and he sleepily responded.

"I have something to show you," I said.

He zipped open the tent flap and I placed the test in his hand.

After a moment, he said, "I knew it!"

And nine months later I was in the hospital, on Father's Day appropriately enough, giving birth to our baby daughter. It took 14 hours of labor, 2.5 hours of pushing, and a C-section for her to arrive, but she is indeed here.

We were in the same city as our doctor's office a couple weeks ago for the little Goose's doctor appointment. Afterward we ate lunch at the same Burger King. This time I got to enjoy the food while gazing at our little miracle sleeping in her car seat.

And while she does leave me often sleep deprived, I cherish our moments together in the early morning hours. She gazes up at me sleepily while I feed her and rock us slowly back and forth.

Life doesn't get much better than this...